Two weeks after the incident I returned home. Physically I was weak and at high risk but stable, but mentally the situation was worse, I was completely clueless. Imagine waking up in a strange place, knowing nothing about time or space, with a blurred vision, and feeling dizzy, that´s how I felt all the time for the following weeks.
I didn´t knew exactly what, but something had changed. What was the message?
Something was true: science didn´t have an explanation. Not my cardiologist, blood tests, reasoning, nope. As lost as I felt I went to consult another sources I´ve never considered before. I went to a lady that read the astral map, to another lady that talked with angels, and to an energy lady. Although none gave me the answer I got nice clues.
I took a wrong path in my life, and something had to happen to be able to change roads and get into my correct road, like destiny itself took care of matters.
Not that I had a bad life, but as If I had a lot of life potential and for 29 years I ´had wasted it.
It was time to live fully, to really live.
To live it´s not to breath and eat, it´s not to survive. Living it´s being able to use all the resources you have in order to achieve something you are passionate about, it´s to deploy all your tools to go up, high, higher, aim to the impossible and beyond, because it´s possible.
When you are born, you get your living toys. We all are born with our toys. You get dreams, illusions, hobbies, and you get the tools to fulfill them: intelligence, boldness, heart, imagination, creativity an so on.
If we all begin with lives and toys what happens in between?
Well, some of us live the lives of others, some live the lives we are told to live, some other waste their lives, very few live their own lives.
The sad thing is that this is a known truth. Many people live a life they don´t like, they know it, but they continue living it. I knew it before my heart attack. But I lied to myself.
The majority live for the "american dream": born poor, die rich and you made it.
Well now I think that´s completely wrong. Many rich die unhappy, many poor live great lives, our society created the story of money and we all believe it.
After the sand storm passed by I saw it all clear: I had to live my life, a life for myself, a life that filled me, not my ego. I had to live a life that as long or short as It was, had to answer right the question I did to myself at the hospital: If I die today, am I satisfied with my life?
martes, 15 de julio de 2008
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